Reminder for Fall Semester 2018...We can do this!

Today's blog post is going to be a little different than they've been lately. I had a different post planned for today but this week has gone by in the blink, as I'm writing this it's Friday afternoon, about 4pm, and I've spent all day finishing my syllabi for my 5 classes I'm teaching (thankfully one syllabus, but two different schedules) as well as revising all my assignments for the course. I started putting things on Blackboard but have given up for today. But a lot of my tasks for the week are now spilling into the weekend and so a new blog post isn't really a top priority. Or at least, the post I had planned, isn't.

I know lately I've being doing a lot of "My top tips for..." type of posts. According to the research on blogging, that's what readers want (and those posts definitely get more hits than rambling posts like this one). But this blog started as an online diary, with bits of my research mixed in. I've documented my journey through my second Masters and through all 5 years of my PhD life, as well as my travels, my obsession with bullet journals, mental health, and chronic illness. So I thought for this week's post I'd go back to the roots of this blog and just have a bit of a ramble and share my thoughts as we're heading into the new semester.

The fall semester of the 2018-2019 academic year is bringing some big changes. I'll be starting as a full time instructor at my former university (in the same department I did my PhD in), teaching 5 classes with 24 students in each, so 120 students roughly. Teaching business writing, which has several assignments, some bigger than others. So it's going to be a LOT of reading, writing, and grading. Oh Lord help me with the grading!

In addition to teaching I'm launching a side business as a freelance copywriter and editor. More info on that will be coming soon, but if you want to take a peek at my website, it is live now. I've been working all summer on this side project and I can't believe I'm nearly ready to start pitching to clients and taking on projects.

When this post goes live on Sunday August 12th, I will have my big faculty meeting on Monday the 13th and then start teaching on Thursday the 16th. I can't believe I'm less than a week to being back in the classroom! I'll meet two of my classes on Thursday and the other three classes the following Tuesday and I'm so excited to meet them. I've been primarily teaching online throughout my research and dissertation writing stages. So it's been awhile since I've had so many students in person. But I'm teaching hybrid, so half the week will be online and I think it's the best of both worlds.

Since I'm teaching in the same department I studied in, it's been a weird feeling of graduating but not really leaving. Has anyone else been in this situation? It's been odd having class prep throughout the summer but not having any of my own research tasks. The freelance business development has filled some of that gap, but it's still been a weird feeling.

I'm planning on doing the academic job market this fall as well, but I'm still unsure about how I really feel about that. I'll probably do a post in the future about following a traditional academic path versus leaving academia/doing your own thing. I feel like there's so much pressure and expectation when you get a PhD that you'll follow the traditional academic path, but throughout the last year and a half or so of my PhD I became much less certain and doing the academic job search last fall was a huge eye opener. And it's hard to know what is just Imposter Syndrome rearing it's ugly head, and what is my brain and heart legitimately pulling me in a different direction.

As I mentioned in my recent post sharing my accomplishments and goals, I turn 40 in just a few short years and I have some specific goals that I'm working towards achieving by then. But oddly (or perhaps not odd at all) being a tenure track professor is not one of them. Maybe that's a sign?

I've been feeling a strong pull to do my own thing and create a career that provides freedom and flexibility over the work I do, the hours I work, and the salary I make, which is one of the reasons I'm starting up the freelance work. But I do love teaching. I truly, madly, and deeply love teaching. The hardest part of my PhD was probably the pressure to not spend too much time on my teaching requirements because my research was more important. I'm not sure if I'll stay an instructor forever or  if the teaching will get folded into the freelance work somehow. I feel like these are issues and questions we never really talk about while going through the process of a PhD. But maybe we should? It's been an exciting but confusing summer for sure.

I don't want to ramble on forever, and I don't want to make this post all about me either. But if you related to anything I've shared above please to tell me so I don't feel so alone!

I will leave this post with 3 pieces of advice/motivation for all of us going into a new academic year...

1. Hold on to hope and excitement

This time of year always feels so exciting and hopeful, like anything could happen this year. Nothing has been written in stone or decided yet. Hold on to that hope. Don't let the madness of midterms or impending finals take that from you. You are strong. You are brave. You can do this. Whether you're a first year grad student or entering your final year of your PhD or starting your first year as new faculty somewhere...you can do this. You got to where you are for a reason. Find things that make you excited and give you hope for the work you are trying to accomplish. Don't give in to the voice of Imposter Syndrome. It's not real. You already have the power to achieve your dreams, it's been in you all along. So just keep going.

2. Remember, this too shall pass. 

The good and the bad. It's all temporary. So enjoy and really give in to the good moments. Celebrate every single victory, big or small. Don't let any of those good moments go by unnoticed or not cherished. And when the bad comes along, as it inevitably does, just remember it won't last forever. You'll get through it, you always do. Make sure you have a solid self-care plan and increase it during the rough times. It's ok to put yourself first. Sometimes it's necessary.

3. Dealing with self-doubt and negative internal dialogue

When things do get rough, don't let yourself dwell on the thought, "what if it all goes wrong?" Trust me, I wasted so much time stressing and worrying that I wouldn't finish my dissertation and graduate on time. All the way up to graduation day itself I thought I was going to get an email saying I'd missed a step. It was such a waste of mental and emotional energy. So learn from my mistake. Instead of planning out every worst case scenario, spend more time thinking, "what if it all goes right?" Imagine the best case scenario. Imagine getting that grant proposal accepted, getting a high mark on your seminar paper, working through the problem with your dissertation framework, or getting that job. 

Things work out far more often than they go wrong, and while I'm not a huge advocate of the law of attraction and "manifesting your destiny" I do believe that what you put out in the universe has a sneaky way of coming back to you, so if you put out a lot of negative, self-doubt, you just might end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you put out positive thoughts and imagine all the ways things can work out, that just might be what happens, or something even better than you can imagine might come your way. So when your mind starts playing with you and you find yourself thinking, "what if it all goes wrong?", acknowledge the thought, then move it aside, like a cloud floating over you, and then think, "ok, but what if it all goes right?" and dwell on that thought for at least twice as long as you gave the negative side of things.

Ok, I'm going to leave it there. Whether you're starting this August or you don't start until September, I hope you have a fabulous back to school time! I hope you indulge in some awesome new school supplies and enjoy settling into the new rhythm of the school year. Enjoy your classes. Dive into your  research. Have fun getting to know your new classmates or new colleagues or your new students! Make some new friends! If you live in the Southwest, have faith, fall weather will return...eventually. If you live in a colder climate, I'm soooo jealous! Enjoy the last days of summer and the arrival of autumn with all it's crisp coolness, changing colors, shortening days, and cozy sweaters. 

And remember, we can do this. This year is ours.

Until next time,
Andrea