Accomplishments and Goals: 30 by 37 (and 10 more before 40)

I’ve seen a lot of videos on YouTube of people sharing their list of 30 things to do before they turn 30. Well, I’m 37, so I thought I’d do a bit of a twist on that. 

I think we focus a lot on things we want to do but haven’t yet and we don’t usually focus enough on things we’ve already accomplished. 

In an effort to shut off the voice of Imposter Syndrome that constantly tries to tell me I’m not good enough and haven’t done anything worth while, I thought I’d share a list of 30 things I accomplished by the age of 37 and 10 things I want to accomplish before I turn 40 (in only a short 3 years! Eek!).

1. Survived my childhood. Not as easy as it sounds lol. Growing up in the US Army is hard. Constantly moving, meeting and making new friends only to say good bye and have to start over. It’s kind of a miracle I reached my teen years relatively normal.

I'm in the red and white top with the mint skirt, clearly a trendsetter from an early age (or not lol). Playing around on Kelly Barracks in Stuttgart, Germany. Some of my happiest memories took place here.

2. Survived my teen years and high school. I feel like for any of us who manage this, it’s a huge accomplishment. Adolescence is hell and you really couldn’t pay me to go back there. Ever.

3. Learned some really important lessons about friendship. True friends will never leave you. True friendship survives the Army, constant moves, lack of communication technology and infrequent long distance phone calls (because it cost a fortune). True friendship learns how to send an email and then flies back and forth across the country to visit each other because staying together is more important than taking the easy way out and moving on with friends who live in the same town.

4. I starred in my first play. I was Aunt Martha in Arsenic and Old Lace. I was horrible and really shouldn’t do comedy. But I had a blast.

5. I moved away from home. It was only an hour an a half away, but that was far enough that I had to learn how to dispose of cockroaches by myself because my dad wasn’t going to drive from Phoenix to Tucson to do it for me. Tip: you don’t need to use a half a can of Raid to kill one roach, but if you do use that much, open a damn window before you asphyxiate yourself.

Hiking in Tucson was one of my favorite things to do, especially here in Sabino Canyon.

6. I learned about loss. True loss. I survived losing the best thing I ever had in life, my best friend. I was devastated. I thought I wouldn’t survive. I thought my heart was shattered into a million pieces that could never be repaired. I felt like all the sun and oxygen had been taken from me and I would just collapse in a pool of grief. But day by day, I managed to get on with my life, even if only to honor hers.

7. I learned that it’s ok to change your mind and change your degree, change schools, then change degrees again. It’s my education, if a program wasn’t working, I didn’t have to force myself to stay in it. I had to do what was right for me.

8. Related to that, even when I finally switched back to theatre for my undergrad, I allowed myself to pursue costume design more than acting. It was where I felt more comfortable and I was really good at it. I was open to change and new opportunities and it all worked out in the end.

9. I was costume assistant on an independent film called Moonpie. You’ve never heard of it. The director’s next film was his big break, so I just missed it lol. But I did get an IMDb credit out of it.

10. I survived being burglarized, losing pretty much all of my valuable personal property and having to start over from scratch, learning valuable lessons in having property insurance and home security along the way.

11. I got a Masters degree in Media Arts, and learned a lot about grad school along the way.

12. I survived an economic crisis that basically made my MA degree worthless. I found a job relying on my costume design and sewing skills and eventually picked up teaching work on the side and I got by.

13. I was costume designer for a number of amazing productions including The Scarlett Pimpernel, You Can’t Take it With You, Drowsy Chaperone, and more. I worked with amazing actors, directors, choreographers, and have had incredible assistants, some of whom have gone on to be amazing designers in their own right.

Cast of The Drowsy Chaperone, such a fun and crazy musical to work on!

14. I got a great score on the essay portion of the GRE. We won’t talk about my math score.

15. I turned 30! It was good riddance to my 20s and hello to what has definitely been a better decade. 

16. I’ve been to London 8 times. 4 times in the winter for New Years, 3 times in the summer, and once in the fall. It’s been a love affair that’s lasted 8 years so far and is still going strong.

One of my favorite views.

17. I made the crazy choice to go back to grad school and got a second Masters in English and found my true research calling in the process.

18. I started a blog. That was crazy. It started as a class assignment. But I kept it going. Some posts have been more popular than others and it’s always been more of a personal diary/notebook of things I’m thinking about and find interesting than a traditional, popular blog. But I love it and even when I take a break from it because of school work I always come back to it.

19. I applied to 7 PhD programs and got rejected by 6. But I only needed to be accepted by 1 and I was.

20. I got my first publication, in a book about Bond Girls and the James Bond franchise. It was terrifying and exciting to work on, but now I can hold that book in my hand and see my name in black and white and it’s pretty darn cool.

21. I studied abroad in Oxford twice. Once officially with a group and the second time was more of an independent study. But both summers were huge learning experiences with massive personal growth.

I still pinch myself that I got to read and study in there.

22. I’ve been to some dark places with my mental health, but I’ve survived all of them and am stronger for each of those experiences. I’ve learned when and how to reach out for help. I’ve learned the value of a good therapist. I’ve learned the importance of self-care. I’ve learned that I am more than “good enough” and I’m believing that more and more every day.

23. I’ve watched people I love take their last breath. I was there for my grandfather’s passing and it was devastating, I was only in my 20s and I had never witnessed death in the room before. It was peaceful and quiet, as it should be, but it was heartbreaking to say goodbye. Fast forward to my mid-30s and I would witness death again, this time with my grandmother. After sitting by her bed in hospice all night, listening to her breathing change, I was alone with her and a hospice nurse as she took her final breath.  I like to think that a part of her knew I was there. It was devastating, she was my last grandparent, and I still miss her dearly. But it was an honor and a privilege to share that final night with her and to know that she was at peace in those last moments.

24. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. And rather than giving in to it or blaming my body for failing me, I’ve learned how to work with my body and manage my condition and live my life beyond the limitations of my illness. Just as is the case with my mental health, my mental and physical illnesses are a part of who I am but they don’t define me.

25. I started a YouTube channel. Now that really was crazy. I never thought that would happen. But now it’s just over two years that I’ve been doing it and I can’t imagine stopping. 

Starting my YouTube Channel is one of the best decisions I've ever made.

26. I learned about healing. It took me more than a decade since learning about loss, but I finally started learning how to heal the wounds of the past rather than to shove grief down and try to ignore it. Some wounds still haven’t healed, but I’m getting there.

27. I passed my PhD exams. This includes the portfolio review, the comp exam, and the prospectus and colloquy. At each stage I thought the stress from each of those exams would kill me, but I survived and passed every single one.

28. I’ve presented at two international conferences, one in Phoenix and one in London. Both times were absolutely terrifying and I was massively impressed with everyone I met. But both times I got really good feedback and proved to myself a little bit more that maybe I’m a good scholar after all.

29. I wrote, revised, and defended my dissertation and earned my PhD!

I did it. Finally PhDone.

30. I have laid to rest doubts about my abilities as a scholar and exorcised “ghosts of professors past” who made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and didn’t belong in academia. I have learned that I might not have a traditional academic career but that’s ok. Because it’s my career and I’ll define myself as I want to be and not as what I “should be.” I am good enough. I am smart enough. I have climbed Mount PhD, one step at a time until I reached the summit. I battled the demons and went toe to toe with Imposter Syndrome on a near daily basis. I suffered through the Death Zone of those final weeks of writing and revising before my defense. I met an incredible amount of other grad students both in my program and in other programs, connecting with scholars all over the world through social media. Finding their blogs, Twitter, and Instagram accounts kept me from feeling alone and isolated, even during those darkest months writing along in my apartment and teaching online so I never left my apartment unless I had to. It took me 9 and a half years (12 if you count the 3 years in between my two MA degrees) to realize that I needed to stop waiting for life to start, that I really was creating the life I wanted and I needed to start living it.

So that brings us up to the present day. I’m 37, and a few months. In less than 1000 days I will turn 40. I’m not a big fan of resolutions or making big promises that might be hard to keep, but I do love setting realistic goals. So here are 10 things I want to accomplish before I turn 40.

1. Get a job.

Funny thing is, I started writing this post ages ago and just didn’t get around to publishing it. I’m happy to say I’ve already checked this one off the list. I got a job, in my current department, teaching full time, so I’ll be staying on at my uni in Writing Programs and continue teaching Professional Writing. I’m so excited! After years of teaching as a TA and balancing my teaching duties with my PhD research, it will be nice to be able to focus on it completely and not feel like teaching is always my second priority. 

2. Start doing some freelance writing and editing…because the student loans won’t pay themselves.

I’m super grateful to have a full time, steady job starting in August. It’s a one year, renewable contract. So I’m lucky. Not every graduate gets an opportunity like this and the academic market is tough. So I’ve been thinking for awhile that I wanted to start freelancing as a writer and editor to supplement my income, help pay my student loans off faster, and provide some extra job security while I figure out my future on the academic job market (Do I stay an instructor for a few years? Do I try for a TT job somewhere? Decisions, decisions). 

3. Write a book proposal and try to publish my dissertation.

I really want to get my dissertation published, and I know there’s a market for my topic (I’m talking about fashion icons for goodness sake!) so I think it would sell. I don’t know what my future in the academic job market is, and I know technically I should wait to try to publish a book project until after I get a TT job, but I’m not even sure TT is what I want (shock horror I know, that’s another blog post). So I want to just go ahead and start researching publishing options and drafting a book proposal. If I could get it published before I turn 40 that would be amazing!

4. Finish writing my current novel and try to get either it or my first novel published, or get both published.

I don’t really talk about my creative writing, but I finished one novel (a supernatural thriller, book 1 of 4, I know, I don’t know how to start small lol) before going back to grad school in 2010.  I joke that this first book was born out of boredom and a bad economy. It was 2007, I was overeducated, underemployed, and lacking any kind of creative outlet. I started writing my second novel (a chick lit novel) in about 2012? I forget. I was doing my MA in English and was tired of only writing research papers, so I started working on an idea I had. It’s set in London (surprise, surprise) and I’ve written it mostly during my trips and extended stays in the UK. But it’s time to finish it. And then see if I can get one or both of these projects published, either through traditional paths or through self-publishing. We’ll see. 

London, I'll be back to see you soon.

5. Visit the UK at least twice before I turn 40, and start exploring beyond London and Oxford.

Another reason I want to start freelancing is because my new salary isn’t going to stretch far enough to include frequent visits to the UK, and as anyone who knows me, I’m not happy unless I’m heading to London at least once a year. The longer I go between visits the grumpier I get. I want to head back as soon as possible. I’d like to go back to Bath, and Dover (I haven’t seen Dover since I was 9). And now that I have friends in Manchester and Sheffield I’d love to visit up there and other parts of Northern England, as well as Scotland and Wales. If there are any places that should be on my list let me know in the comments.

I miss designing and making things.

6. Start sewing again.

I miss it. So much. I was sewing and designing costumes up until I started my PhD. Even though costume design is a massive amount of work, it was one of the ways I helped fund my second MA degree in an unfunded program. But it’s been five years since I did sewing of any kind and much longer since I’ve sewn anything for myself personally. I can’t even remember the last time I made something for myself. I miss the creativity and problem solving that comes with making something. Costume design isn’t really in my future at this point, but I’d like to get back into sewing, both modern stuff I can wear on a daily basis but also historical dress just to see what I can do, particularly when I’m not bound by a script and a director’s vision. I have so much fabric and pattern making supplies stored away, so once I can get a space organized I’m excited to get back into it!

7. Keep growing and building my online community through my socials, blog, and YouTube.

It’s been amazing seeing how my online community has grown just in the last few years. I have loved getting to know people around the world through social media, particularly other grad students. The friends I’ve made through my YouTube channel, this blog, Twitter, and Instagram have been amazing and I honestly don’t think I would have made it through the last two years of my PhD without them. They all inspired me so much and motivated me to keep going through it all. When I succeeded they celebrated with me, when I stumbled they helped me get back on my feet and moving forward again. Often people will say in the comments of one of my videos or posts that my videos, blog, Instagram pics inspire them and motivate them in their work. I’m enormously flattered, you all are the ones who inspire me. This community has become something so much bigger and better than I ever anticipated, so I want to keep going forward, making content, meeting and helping others and learning from them. I can’t wait to see how things continue to grow over the next few years and beyond.

8. Visit the Grand Canyon again.

I’ve only been once and that was several years ago, more than ten years ago actually. And I’ve only been to the North Rim, so I’d like to see the South Rim and spend more time around the canyon. The one time I went we only got to stay for a couple hours. So I’d love to have more time to really take it in and enjoy the beauty and magic of the landscape and sweeping views.

9. Start laying the groundwork for starting my own business/being self-employed

I mentioned in my life update video that in addition to working as an Instructor at my uni, starting this fall, I was also going to start freelancing as a writer and editor. I have no idea where my career will go between now and my 40^th birthday. But three years sounds like a good amount of time to start laying some groundwork for some long term plans. I know I will always be a teacher, it’s just part of who I am. But I also am drawn to so many other things and a traditional academic job has never seemed like the right fit (not ruling anything out, but also not going to put all my eggs in one basket and count on a tenured professorship). Being self-employed is incredibly hard work and a lot of pressure, a lot like doing a PhD, and I did that so… :) I figure I’ll freelance for awhile, to supplement a steady income while I pay down my student loans, but eventually I’d like to move towards building my own business and writing/editing/coaching full time. Doing a PhD is a lot like being self-employed. Long, unpredictable hours but freedom and flexibility to manage your own schedule. I want to start traveling more, so the ability to work from wherever has a lot of appeal. Which brings me to my final item…

10. Move to the UK?

Ever since I visited London as an adult for the first time in 2010 I’ve wanted to move there. If not London specifically then somewhere else in the UK. The more I’ve explored different cities the more I fall in love with the UK. Moving to a different country is not easy (visa’s are a tricky thing lol) and often expensive, so maybe I can’t accomplish it in only a few years, but I’m going to try. I can’t explain it, but something about the UK, England especially, feels like home, like where I’m supposed to be. I’ll always wonder what it would be like to live there, so I have to give it a try.

The face of a woman a hundred times more
comfortable with herself at 37 than she was
at 7, 17, or 27. It takes time to truly learn who
you are. I'm getting there. Slowly.

There we go, that’s it. I think that’s a pretty good list lol. Some will be easier to achieve than others, but I’ve gotten used to challenging myself.

How about you? What have you accomplished so far and what do you have left on your list? I would love if you would share in the comments a couple achievements and a couple things left to do before your next birthday decade. 

Until next time,

Andrea